Joe College has decided, in the spirit of summer, to change up the normal tone of the blog this time. Since many of you are only a month away from starting your college career, what better way to celebrate then by letting you know about all the things the college viewbook didn’t tell you?

• Your wardrobe will no longer have polos and nice jeans, it will have sweatpants and hoodies.
• Trying to register for an 11 a.m. class as a freshman will be impossible.
• Going to bed at 1 a.m. is early.
• Breakfast? What is that?
• Expect strange looks if you don’t wear sandals in the shower.
• If you still cover your textbook with a cut-up paper bag, you’ll be the only one.
• If Facebook says it, it must be true.
• You’ll pick up your friend’s lingo and they’ll pick up yours.
• You’ll never have more then $10 to your name.
• You’ll mistakenly refer to your campus as home. (This will make your parents cry by the way.)
• You’ll appreciate your family a lot more now that you don’t see them.
• People you never spoke to in high school will be so happy to see you over Christmas break.
• You’ll wonder whether or not the cereal in the cafeteria is the name brand or generic.
• Computers only crash during mid-terms and finals.
• The kid down the hall can be used as your own personal Blockbuster video store.
• You’ll proudly wear your intramural inner-tube water polo champions t-shirt.
• You’ll only dress-up when everything else is dirty.
• Girls rooms are just as messy as boys, they just don’t smell as bad.
• You’ll be able to cook a 5 course meal entirely in the microwave.
• If the walk from your car to your dorm is less then 5 minutes, you’ve probably parked illegally.
• If you’re showing this list to your roommate instead of working on your essay due tomorrow, you’ve mastered the skill shared by 99% of college students, procrastination.

Hopefully you found this humorous and slightly enlightening. If you’re in college and there’s some I’ve missed (which I’m sure there is) be sure to post them in the comments section.

So it is written,

Rich